contentment

this state i'm in, is pretty cool.

i don't feel euphoria, neither much excitement.

i somehow feel pretty blessed, just little ones, these i notice.

the cold breeze kissing my cheeks and nose, heh. the little chats with random strangers from corners of the world. that supposedly difficult language to comprend, it is not a super cool feeling i have when i learn, however, it is getting much clearer in the cognitive faculty. these little moments i'm savouring bit by bit.

hey! it ain't all bout feelings, that "F-ing" thing we get engulfed, which we define our day by and happiness? ho! if that were the case, we would have been tossed and turned, we feel so crappy at the end of the day, and super drained by the end of the week.

to be less feeling-centric, some could call it boring. i say it is pretty cool - lazing in bed during winter. cooking hot soups in the night to fill that cold tummy. playing a game or two, to have just that moment of good laugh and brain teaser. stroking the cat and hearing the "happy" noise it makes. just staying in.

i'm peeping into the possibility of living in this city with a queer accent. of people who are immaculately dressed, sheer simplicity that exudes charm. of taxes that could knock ya socks off. i'm not super excited. i'm wondering... it could be possible. question: does He want me to?

seek the Lord while He may be found

Seek the Lord while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, and He will have mercy on him; and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55: 6-9

You

You MADE me.

You FOUND me.

now, let me come into Your bosom, and get lost in this embrace.

YOU, please please please make my heart less pain.

keep me satisfied in Your presence

"where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; but happy is he who keeps the law" Proverbs 29:18

keep the flame burning.

give me oil in my lamp, keep it burning burning burning.
give me oil in my lamp, i pray i pray.
give me oil in my lamp, keep it burning burning burning,
keep it burning till the break of day.

"to everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven:

..... and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up....."
Eccelesiastes 3:1-8

For your Maker is your husband...

Isaiah 54: 4-8

"Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; Nor be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame;

For you will forget the shame of your youth,

And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore.

For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name;

And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth.

For the Lord has called you like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit,

like a youthful wife when you were refused," says your God.

"For a mere moment I have forsaken you, but with great mercies I will gather you.

With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment; but

with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you,"

says the Lord, your Redeemer.

the void

"it is hard to forget", i said, "when there is such an empty space when you are gone"

there is much to undo from now on.

to breathe regularly

dear Lord,

i'm having a bout of anxiety or stress?

work piling up, and with the slew of observations, i'm right about stuffed to the neck, i can't breathe, somewhat.

cause me to be consistent, and productive. more importantly, give me that peace and confidence to be able to do it all with Your grace and providence.

breathe, breathe, breathe. something so natural and basic, we take for granted.

i want to breathe regularly, make me whole and satisfied.

in Jesus' name,
Amen