dearest Jbestfriend,
this intense heartache i feel right now, how often have i felt it these months? you know the exact frequency, exact intensity and exact cause. i know not exactly.
at church today, i sought our Father's direction with regard to the relationship between whee and i... ...
i remember going up the altar few sundays ago, and that I had the impression that in time, You'll realize Your calling for me in the years to come, and my partner in life would support in spirit and kind words. the calling You have for me is distinctively to minister to those broken in their marriage, families. there i thought very likely that whee would be able to support me and how aptly, whee received an impression about pursuing further education in geography education. viola! it seems to be meeting our paths.
yet few days back, it struck me. the so called differences when it came to decision making process, personality and mindsets. somehow, it seems i've been hoping that these will fade away, and whee would be able to understand me better with each new day. yet, the more i talk to whee, it becomes clearer that we do really see things differently, have different priorities. i suppose the support in spirit and kind words are the fundamentals i pray for in a partner, yet it turned out not quite that way.
at church today, i sought Your direction with regard to the relationship between whee and i... ... what is it Father? knock knock!
on the topic of relationships, i have always entangled myself in boy girl relationships since 17 till now. long term relationships, and in between the two, had few short term ones that i rather not recall. i were of the notion that i needed a partner, like a life buoy since i had none at home.
i'm also pretty much what was painted to me by a friend while we were chatting along the quiet alleys in London. a small me entangled by a HUGE ball of fibre. the fibre were of various types, thickness, length etc, it didn't matter the exact details but that i was tangled with the cares of the world ever so easily, it accumulated and the small me is missing the big picture. i can't breathe or grow up in You. it weighs me down, keeping me away from You.
oh how i've always miss You.
your girl,
andrea
this intense heartache i feel right now, how often have i felt it these months? you know the exact frequency, exact intensity and exact cause. i know not exactly.
at church today, i sought our Father's direction with regard to the relationship between whee and i... ...
i remember going up the altar few sundays ago, and that I had the impression that in time, You'll realize Your calling for me in the years to come, and my partner in life would support in spirit and kind words. the calling You have for me is distinctively to minister to those broken in their marriage, families. there i thought very likely that whee would be able to support me and how aptly, whee received an impression about pursuing further education in geography education. viola! it seems to be meeting our paths.
yet few days back, it struck me. the so called differences when it came to decision making process, personality and mindsets. somehow, it seems i've been hoping that these will fade away, and whee would be able to understand me better with each new day. yet, the more i talk to whee, it becomes clearer that we do really see things differently, have different priorities. i suppose the support in spirit and kind words are the fundamentals i pray for in a partner, yet it turned out not quite that way.
at church today, i sought Your direction with regard to the relationship between whee and i... ... what is it Father? knock knock!
on the topic of relationships, i have always entangled myself in boy girl relationships since 17 till now. long term relationships, and in between the two, had few short term ones that i rather not recall. i were of the notion that i needed a partner, like a life buoy since i had none at home.
i'm also pretty much what was painted to me by a friend while we were chatting along the quiet alleys in London. a small me entangled by a HUGE ball of fibre. the fibre were of various types, thickness, length etc, it didn't matter the exact details but that i was tangled with the cares of the world ever so easily, it accumulated and the small me is missing the big picture. i can't breathe or grow up in You. it weighs me down, keeping me away from You.
oh how i've always miss You.
your girl,
andrea
